Where are you now?
by La La La Lady in disguise xDD
Summary: Why did I let go of him when he confessed to me, when I feel the same for him? After being separated, he now have a new girlfriend, whom he declared he can't live without. I can feel my world shatter. Thankful, my boy best friend is here to be with me. How can I hide my true feelings if he and his girlfriend will be our classmates for a year? Mikan X? Please read and review!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

Please enjoy this new story of mine!~ :))

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**Where are you now?**

_"Not all of the people we love will be at our side. Some would leave you behind at one time."_**  
**

**Prologue**

"I didn't know why, but I like you. You are a weird girl. You are one of my fans, yet you treated me good. You didn't hang out with me just because I'm famous but because you want to my friend. I became comfortable being with you. I want to try a new relationship between us. More than friends."

There is this boy who confessed to me as we walked around, with no place in mind. It makes my heart to beat harder, my cheeks to become tomatoes. I can't hide my smile by his confession. After all, I like him too.

"Huh? Is that so? But Natsume, you're leaving in a few minutes to America. Your… one month stay here is going to be finished. Whether you like it or not, you can't stay here longer. Your manager, fans and friends in America are all waiting for you…"

Natsume Hyuuga. He went back to Japan for a sort-of-vacation. He transferred to our school, Gakuen Alice. He is a well known singer all over the world, with so many fans, and admirers. I'm even one of them. I like his voice. A deep voice that dwells in a body of a child. A deep voice that can even reach your closed heart.

For his first day, I gathered all of my courage to introduce myself to him. Don't get me wrong. I'm not the type of a fan that would go screaming, hug her idol to no end,asks for his autograph or tries to get a picture of them together. I'm not the kind of girl who has a poster saying, "I love you so much, Natsume-sama. Please go out with me!"

We instantly became friends. Even though every time we're together, he would tease me to no end. But I like him that way. He may be silent and a jerk sometimes,Wai— change that. He's always mean and a jerk. But he would always have his own ways to comfort me when I most needed it.

"I know, Mikan. But can't we try a long distance relationship? It has to be you. I don't want any other girl but you."

"Oh gosh, Natsume. What's with the mushy words? And we are so young! We're just fifth graders, for Pete's sake!"

"But, Mikan—"

"Look, Natsume. I …don't want to reject your feelings, okay? I admit… I… I like you too. Not because you're an idol, but because of who you are. But we're still too young. I don't want to have a relationship yet. Let's wait for the right moment Natsume. And that's when we get older. If we are for each other, then even though we're miles away, we would still be together. Who knows, you might find another girl and I might find a guy for me. The future holds so many possibilities."

"Tch. You're so stubborn as always."

"Hyuuga-san, we need to get going. Our flight was just announced."

"Fine, Takeshi-san. I'll follow."

Takeshi-san is Natsume's personal bodyguard. He's more like Natsume's _nanny._ Telling Natsume do this, don't go anywhere… and so on. It was only him who accompanied Natsume in his stay here in Japan.

They're relationship is more like Father-and-Son.

"Keep in touch with me Polka."

"I would. Stop calling me 'Polka', you Pervert."

"Oh yeah? Fine. I won't call you 'Polka', I'll rather call you '_Strawberries_' for today."

"Wha—? You! Pervert! You're always teasing me! I hate you!"

"Yeah right. And _I_ happened to be your _idol_. Now, you hate me? What an irony."

"Natsume Hyu—"

"Bye, Mikan. I'll call once in a while when I have time to."

"Sure! Take care in America!"

He nodded his head as he walk towards the entrance of the airport.

Did he just call me by my name? Well, I guess that's his way of saying sorry since he pissed me off.

He would me by my name once in a while. It's when I needed comforting and pissed. Or whenever we need to have a serious talk.

I can't help but cry sadly, when I saw the plane where he is. Flying up and up, going away from the ground, Natsume going away from me.

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What do you think about it?

**PLease Read and review!~ :)) PM me whenever you want! :D**

Love you all!~

This story suddenly popped in my mind when I was listening to some music. Then, I visualized it, typed in my computer. I think I typed this in less than an hour. haha... xD

Natsume is sort of kind amd polite here since he is just kid. In the later chapters, I'll try my hardest so Natsume act more arrogant, a jerk— you name it.

And to tell honestly, I still don't know what to actually do with this story.

Happy ending? Not really sure about that.

it can be a tragedy... you know, the genre after all is Hurt.

I might imagined seeing Mikan committing suicide when she can no longer keep herself together. [[just kidding! I won't kill _Mikan_ in this story!]]

But there might be some comedy in it... But I just suck at that part... You might find it not that good... So bear with it!~ :))hehe xDD

Pairings:

Mikan x Natsume? **Maybe**

Ruka x Hotaru? **Who knows**

Mikan x some other guy? **I might do it**

Have a great day!~

**Revised: September 12, 2012**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hi folks! please enjoy this new chapter!**

**I do not own Gakuen Alice and the songs that will be used in this fanfic :)**

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**Chapter 1**

_"What I'd do to have you near, near, near  
I wish you were here_  
_I love the way you are  
It's who I am, don't have to try hard  
_We always say, say it like it is  
And the truth is that I really miss  
_All those crazy things you said"  
_—Wish you were here by Avril Lavigne

I didn't know I would be hurt to this extent.

Videos saying they caught him making out with an unknown girl.

News about him having a new girlfriend.

Interviews telling that he's happy with his girlfriend, Hotaru Imai. That, he can't live without her by his side.

I don't want to believe those. Because, deep inside I'm still hoping that we would be together after all these years.

Yes. It's been years since that day. That day he confessed to me. We would exchange letters or he would call me once in a while. It makes me happy.

But the fact that he didn't say anything about him having a new girlfriend and that I found out about it through the media makes me feel sad. Disappointed. Angry. He should have told me he was going out with someone. At least, my hopes won't be as high as they are today.

"Mikan! Come over at our house today!"

So I should have been able to forget my feelings towards him when it was still early— when I just like him. But now… I can say my feelings for him are now deeper.

"Hello? Earth to Mikan!"

I can feel someone shake my shoulders vigorously. I looked up and saw who was shaking me.

"Oh, hi Koko. Sorry, I'm just thinking of something. What were you saying?"

"Come at our house, please Mikan!"

"Geez, Koko. Why do you want me to go?"

"Come on, Mikan! I want to show you something! It's a bit fragile, so I don't want to bring it here in school. Please Mikan… Please! Please! Please come!"

How can you say no when he uses his all-time-favorite puppy dog eyes and his pout?

"Fine, fine I'll come. Don't use that technique to me, Koko. I hate you. After school?"

"Yeah. See you later, Mikan!"

That was just my best friend, Kokoro Yome. My boy best friend. He has this sandy hair and brown eyes, just like mine. He makes everyone happy with his goofy smile and jokes. The class' clown.

He's been my classmate since first grade, but we became close to each other when we reached sixth grade. We found out many similar things with each other.

He's the only person that I talked to about Natsume. He knows about the confession thing. He comforts me whenever he hears something about Natsume and a girl.

And whenever he feels that I need comforting. I swear he's a mind reader. When I asked him about it once, he just shrugged his shoulders.

And answered me with, "Who knows? I might be…"

But I'm so thankful he's there for me.

Right now, we're in high school, and yet we are still classmates and best friends. Funny, right?

"Class, please settle down. I have good news today!" Narumi-sensei went inside the room while hopping and twirling, with a brilliant smile plastered in his face.

"What is it, sensei?" asked by a random girl in our class. I think her name is Emiko.

"Oh, today we will have not only one, but three students joining our class! Please welcome them!"

A boy with blond hair and topaz eyes entered the room. He wore the school uniform properly, how a good student would do.

Next was a girl with raven hair and violet eyes. She have this aura that looks so powerful, you'll be scared for your life if you ever cross her.

And lastly, it's none other than Natsume Hyuuga.

"Now, please introduce yourselves to the class."

"I'm Ruka Nogi. 17 years old. I hope we'll be good friends with each other."

"Hotaru Imai. Age 16. Don't mess with me."

"Tch. Do I really need to introduce myself?"

"KYAAAA!~ IT'S NATSUME-SAMA AND RUKA-SAMA! EVEN HOTARU IMAI IS HERE! OH MY FREAKING GOSH, THEY'RE ALL HERE!"

"YEAH, IT'S NATSUME-SAMA! I CAN'T BELIEVE OUR LUCK TO SEE HIM UP CLOSE!"

"IT'S RUKA-SAMA WITH HIS EVER-SO-CHARMING SMILE! I CAN DIE THIS VERY MOMENT!"

"RUKA-SAMA! PLEASE BE MY BOYFRIEND!"

"TOO BAD NATSUME-SAMA HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"

Those fan girls really irritate me. I know I'm a fan of Natsume until now, but it doesn't mean you need to those things they're doing.

Like posting pictures in their lockers.

Having a customized shirt, mug, towel, handkerchief, bag, hair accessories, nail polish and many more.

With Natsume's or Ruka Nogi's pictures.

They're crazy.

Before any of the three transferees can react to all the noise, a voice was heard. And surprisingly, all the girls screaming their hearts out fell silent.

"All of you should be quiet! Only I, Sumire Shouda can date either Natsume-sama or Ruka-sama."

As Sumire Shouda (I just knew her name today. I'm always calling her 'Permy') walked towards them (the transferees) with such poise you could send her to have a one-on-one contest with a famous model.

"Welcome to our class, Imai-sama, Natsume-sama and Ruka-sama. Once more, I'm Sumire Shouda, the president of the official fan clubs for Natsume Hyuuga-sama and Ruka Nogi-sama. Please feel at home and we will all serve the three of you with great respect."

Then, she bowed slightly.

I can see the three's amused eyes.

I mean, who won't? Even some of my classmates have their mouth slightly ajar and their eyes… have a chance of falling out.

Permy, I mean Sumire can actually be polite when she wants to.

But, I hate what she said_. We? We will all_ serve them with great respect?

Me? With Natsume?

You're kidding me.

"Permy, you might want to serve them with great respect as you said, but not everyone agrees with you. I'm one of them. Don't expect me to cooperate." I said out loud and everyone looked my way.

"Ever so stubborn, you never changed, Polka."

"Yeah, I guess. Your Oh-so-rude attitude and you being a pervert will never go away."

Right now, all my classmates stared at me as if I just suddenly popped out of nowhere.

"Oh my… Mikan Sakura! YOU AND NATSUME-SAMA KNOWS EACH OTHER?!"

The girls started to crowd around me.

What the hell do I have to do to escape this scenario?!

Kami-sama, if You can hear me… Please help me out of this trouble! I beg You, Oh, Kami-sama!

"Stay away from Polka."

And I heard his voice. Looking around, I saw him, Hotaru Imai and Ruka Nogi making their way to where the girls are. In short, to where I am sitting.

"It's been a while the last time I saw a _lady_ not trying to hug Natsume. I'm pleased to meet you. Please call me Ruka." He chuckled lightly as he extended his hands to me.

"I'm Mikan Sakura. Feel free to call me Mikan. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here." I said as I reach for his hand.

"Interesting. I heard a lot about you from Hyuuga. I'm Hotaru Imai. Pleased to meet you."

"Hmm… Hotaru eh? I'm pleased to meet you too. Natsume is too lucky for finding a girl like you as his girlfriend."

"I know. I like you, Mikan Sakura"

"Oh, please just call me Mikan! We're friends the moment you introduced yourself to me!"

I didn't even notice Narumi-sensei walking out of the room.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

We don't share our chair and desk like when we were in elementary. But there were three extra seats beside me. Actually, I chose the last chair beside the window. But if I had just known that they'll be my seatmate, I hope I just accepted Koko's invitation of sitting in front.

I didn't even listen to our lesson. My mind would always wonder off to wonderland.

About Hotaru and Natsume.

How they met.

What happened between them.

How deep is their feelings for each other.

If Natsume really had forgotten his feelings towards me.

What I am in his eyes now that he have Hotaru.

How did Hotaru cope with Natsume's attitude.

I can feel my heart breaking once more. Just thinking about those things makes me cry. But, I don't want to. Especially now that they are our classmates.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

_Break Time_

"So how did the two of you meet, huh, Hotaru and Natsume?" I asked innocently. I really wanted to ask this question the minute I saw them together. But I need to calm my nerves first.

"Our parent's are friends. We met. I flirted with her. End of story."

"Oh, wow, Natsume. What a nice story. Although it could be better. Care to elaborate?" I praised him sarcastically.

"Hell, no."

"You know Mikan, those days were so fun. Natsume woul—"

"Shut up Ruka."

"—d do anything just for Hotaru to give some attention to him. Hotaru—"

"I told you to shut up, Ruka."

"then would smack him in the head. Especially when Hotaru is eating. She can alw—"

"Shut up, Ruka! Imai, help me out won't you?"

"Aw, Natsume… Don't be a party pooper! Ruka is kindly narrating what happen, since a certain someone forgot to tell me."

"She's right Hyuuga. And besides, those memories are too unforgettable, don't you think, Hyuuga?"

"Tch. Whatever."

"—ays find ways to annoy Natsume. But in the end, they're together."

I sweat dropped. Ruka just continued on and on the story as if he wasn't interrupted by us.

"But how come you became together?"

"Because I love this perverted, immature bastard."

"Way to confess to me, Imai."

I can't help but giggle with the responses they give to each other. And I can't help but cry silently internally.

They're a good couple. Who am I to destroy their relationship?

I really need to move on.

"Oh, Mikan! Want to join us later? We'll go around the city. The last time I was here was when I was a toddler." Ruka suggested as our next teacher comes inside the room in long strides.

"I would love to, but I can't. I need to go somewhere today. Sorry." I replied apologetically to Ruka. Natsume raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's fine Mikan. I hope you can join us some other time."

"Sure, as long as I don't have anything to do."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

_Dismissal Time_

"Are you okay, Mikan?" Koko whispered to me as he waits for me to finish arranging my things.

"I think I'll need a basin later. The minute we step into your house, get one for me."

"Mikan, your jokes don't falter even in your state."

"And, remember Koko, ready a big bunch of food."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, Mikan. You're too slow. I'll leave you in a minute if you're not yet done"

"Wha—? Hey, don't leave me!"

I can see Koko getting out of the classroom. Damn it. If just my things aren't so disarrange!

"So this is the reason why you can't hang out with us?" A voice interrupted my train of thoughts. And it is Natsume.

"Oh, yeah. I promised him I'll be coming over his house today after school. See you tomorrow, Natsume!" I hastily put my things in my bag and decided to rearrange them at home.

I don't want to be near him as much as possible. He might see through me. He might see the real emotions I feel inside. And I don't want him to be troubled just because of that.

I even forgot to say goodbye to Hotaru and Ruka.

"Koko! Wait up! Don't you do that on me again!" I scolded Koko as I see him walking through the gate of our school.

"I just did that to make your moves faster. Anyway, sorry about that." He looked back at me and waited for me to catch up.

"Just walk faster, Koko. I can't wait to fill your house with my tears."

"Yes, Captain Sakura!"

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

_Koko's room_

"Why, why, why?! Why does it hurt so much? The way he talks and teases her. How he would squeezed her hand lightly. How he pecks her lips secretly during class. It makes my heart to break. Koko, I don't want to feel this pain!"

"Just let it out. It'll be okay."

"But I can't hate Hotaru. She's such a good girl. Even… even if she looks so cold, she's sweet and caring on her own way."

I let Koko stroke my back. I can't control my tears. My hair that was in a ponytail is now in disarray. My eyes are puffy and red.

Even just thinking about the two of them together makes my heart to break into pieces. I cried harder, Koko put his arms around me, enveloping me in a brotherly embrace.

"Shush… It'll be alright. It will pass."

"But… All these years… I love him, Koko! I don't know how I can move on. I devoted all my love to him… just to find out I'm not the one wants to be with."

"I'm sure you'll find the right guy for you, Mikan. Just wait a bit longer. Who knows? Maybe Ruka Nogi will like you!"

"What?! Don't joke around, Koko! That'll never happen!"

"Chill, Mikan. I'm just trying to lighten up the mood. But there might be a chance. Natsume Hyuuga did fell in love you once, Mikan."

"But… I don't care Koko! I don't want to see Natsume… he… he'll see through my acting. He's the first ever person who can identify my lies. I can't do it, Koko… But if he knew the truth, he might get guilty or something. I don't want that to happen."

"Geez Mikan. You're too kind and selfless. As a reward, I'll just get something. Wait for me here."

I dried my tears as I wait for Koko to go back. Reward? What's that?

"Here's my reward for you, Mikan!"

I stared at him as if he sprouted a new head.

He's just kidding around, right?

"Nope, I'm not kidding around, Mikan. This is really for you."

A guitar.

A customized guitar with my name written in a beautiful font.

(A/N: oh, I'll just let you visualize the design xD)

"But why?"

"You better take good care of this. This is my gift for you, Mikan."

"Gift? For what, Koko?"

"For Christmas, New year, and of course it's for your Birthday. Goodness, my two-year-savings is now gone."

"But… Koko, you don't have to—"

"I want to do this, Mikan. This is your hobby, my hobby. I know you have a guitar at home, nothing's wrong if you start collecting different kinds of guitars, right?"

"Koko… I… I don't know what to tell you… Thanks…!"

"If you really appreciate my gift, then use it now. Pour out your feelings Mikan. No one will stop you."

"Fine."

_**Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics**__  
__**Songwriter:**__ Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;_

_Drew looks at me__  
__I fake a smile so he won't see__  
__What I want and I need__  
__And everything that we should be_

I let my emotions to take control over me. The pain I received from him, the heart ache I feel.

_I'll bet she's beautiful__  
__That girl he talks about__  
__And she's got everything__  
__That I have to live without__  
_

I've got to admit, Hotaru is beautiful. I'm jealous. Jealous of how close she is to Natsume and that she is his girlfriend.

_Drew talks to me__  
__I laugh 'cause it's just so funny__  
__I can't even see__  
__Anyone when he's with me__  
_

I tried to remember all the fun things we did in the past, the ones that can put a bright smile in my face.

_He says he's so in love__  
__He's finally got it right__  
__I wonder if he knows__  
__He's all I think about at night__  
_

I may be in love in him, but he's not with me. He doesn't need to know my feelings anymore.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar__  
__The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star__  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing__  
__Don't know why I do__  
_

And yet, I don't want to let him go.

_Drew walks by me__  
__Can he tell that I can't breathe?__  
__And there he goes, so perfectly__  
__The kind of flawless I wish I could be__  
_

But Natsume is just too perfect for me.

_She better hold him tight__  
__Give him all her love__  
__Look in those beautiful eyes__  
__And know she's lucky 'cause__  
_

I'll just hope their relationship stays strong no matter what happens.

_He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar__  
__The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star__  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing__  
__Don't know why I do__So I drive home alone__  
__As I turn out the light__  
__I'll put his picture down__  
__And maybe get some sleep tonight__  
_

And I'll really try my best to forget my feelings for him and find somebody else.

_'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar__  
__The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart__  
__He's the song in the car I keep singing__  
__Don't know why I do__He's the time taken up but there's never enough__  
__And he's all that I need to fall into__  
__Drew looks at me__  
__I fake a smile so he won't see_

I let my tears to flow freely to my cheeks. Not caring if I look hideous. Since Koko is with me, I hope he would be able to make me happy, just like the old times.

* * *

What do you think about it? Please please read and review!

Actually, i am hoping that every one of my readers can suggest an event for the upcoming Chapter 2. since I really can't think of one. so, please, no I'm begging you to help me come up on ideas on Chapter 2.

Please? *puppy dog eyes*

Thank you thank you!~ :))))

And I would like to say sorry to those who are reading my other story, "The valley of tears" for not updating. It's just that I have the whole plot, but I don't know what to write that can describe a scenario perfectly. I think i have a writer's block. I'm terribly sorry. I promise to write the story right away when I find an inspiration. Thank you for understanding!

Much love!~ :))))


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